They’re telling me nothing, because I have no NBA sources. But, truth be told, I don’t believe so-called sources mean squat.

I’ve been listening to ESPN’s myriad formats throughout the day, and it’s laughable. Pathetic. News agencies creating news. This guy says this, this guy says that, this guy believes that guy is going with that guy to this city. It’s all crap, because no one has a real clue, but there’s much space to fill, so they talk and talk and talk.

Hence, so will I. Here, for the only time, are my predictions of what happens to the various free agents. Compare my picks with the people paid to know—and I bet I hold my own …

LeBron James—Will sign with the Chicago Bulls, because he loves the red-and-black color scheme.

Chris Bosh and D-Wade—Wind up teammates in Miami.

Joe Johnson—Returns to Atlanta, because the money and team are both great.

Dirk Nowitzki—A no-brainer. Returns to Dallas to wrap up his career and soak in the love.

Amare Stoudemire—Back in Phoenix. If you’re him, why would you ever leave Steve Nash?

David Lee—Now starting, for yooouuuurrrrr Brooklyn Nets …

Carlos Boozer—The Knicks have thrown two seasons and dismantled their entire roster … for this guy.

Paul Pierce—Teams up with LeBron in Chicago to kick ass and take names.

Rudy Gay—Doesn’t leave Memphis. Hell, B.B. King’s has great burgers.

Richard Jefferson—Boston goes with this weak replacement for Pierce.

Luis Scola—Back to Houston, because the mall there is wonderful.

Ray Allen—Doesn’t want to leave Boston … and won’t.

Shaquille O’Neal—The Clippers come calling … and Shaq answers.

Al Harrington—The ultimate good player on bad teams, he somehow winds up in San Antonio.

Brendan Haywood—The Knicks say farewell to Eddy, hello to this guy. Pump it up, Knick fans!

Derek Fisher—To leave the Lakers would be crazy. He sticks.

Allen Iverson—The Kentucky Bisons come calling. And only the Kentucky Bisons come calling.

Stephon Marbury—In his driveway.

Meant to blog about this a while ago—forgot.

Have been spending much of my driving time listening to new Eminem which, I must say, might even be better than old Eminem.

Not Afraid, the song above, is terrific. Beyond terrific. First, it’s brutally honest and painful about his drug addiction and recivery. Second, Eminem—vocally—sounds like Eminem again. Third, he stopped taking shots at teenage singers—something that got really old.

At his best, Eminem is the elite. He is to hiphop in the 2000s what Chuck Berry was to rock—not the originator of a genre, but someone who took it to a significantly higher level. Plus, I like how Eminem admits that his last CD, Relapse, was mediocre. For a while all my son wanted to hear was Crack A Bottle, the single he released with 50 Cent and Dr. Dre. The song was catchy, moderately funny—and lame. Truly lame.

Now, the guy is back. And as good as ever.

Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi isn’t exactly my type of writer.

Guy curses in his work all the fucking, oops, all the time. He makes some sweeping comments that, quite often, ruin the point of a piece. He also places himself in the center of most of his stories. I generally hate this, in that in conveys the arrogance of a writer. It screams, “Yeah, here’s the story—but surely you’d prefer to read about the story as it pertains to me!”

All that being said, the dude has a voice. A strong voice. And he uses it like a sledgehammer. He’s a writer who craves the truth; who grabs it, wrestles with it, fights for it, and doesn’t give a shit who gets pulverized with the pointy edge of the shovel. I love that and, because of it, I mostly love Taibbi. In this era, so many writers among us are, as Matt would hardly hesitate to say, pussies. They aim to please, not report. They want to make friends, not cover big stories. In sports, you see it every time a writer gets the giggles after an athlete calls him by his first name. It’s a plague, and it ain’t getting any better.

So, again, I have much appreciation for Taibbi—today more than ever before.

In case you’ve been sleeping on Planet Zubark, a Rolling Stone freelancer named Michael Hastings broke one of the bigger stories of the year—Gen. Stanley McChrystal slamming the Obama Administration for a variety of reasons. The aftermath involved the general being given the boot and a surge in attention to the disaster that is Afghanistan. It was a huge-impact piece; the sort of work we all should strive for.

Yet instead of praising Hastings’ piece, several political/military reporters and so-called “insiders” questioned the writer’s tactics, motives and approach. Nobody was more visibly critical than Lara Logan, the CBS News chief foreign correspondent. On CNN’s Reliable Sources program, Logan agreed that Hastings violated an “unspoken agreement” that journalists are not supposed to “embarrass [the troops] by reporting insults and banter.”

Uh … what?

Taibbi’s response is brilliant, and worth reading. It’s the exact way I, too, feel; a numbing exasperation with people like Logan, who somewhere along the way seems to have forgotten what it means to be a journalist.

And, for the record: No, you don’t lie. You never lie. But you do sometimes have to use your poker face. If a subject is spewing nonsense and spewing nonsense and spewing nonsense, it’s not a reporter’s job to stand up and say, “Hey, this might hurt you!” Just the opposite. You listen and absorb. True, non-spin insight is gold.

Only a dolt like Logan would toss it back.

Just read that Mark Kirk, Republican candidate for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat in Illinois, has admitted that he mischaracterized his military record. “I am not perfect, and I was careless,” he said. “I will do better to make sure this never happens again.”

Kirk, according to, well, 8,000 different sources, repeatedly exaggerated about his service in the Navy. He boasted about combat experiences that, ahem, never happened, and took credit for awards he never, ever, ever, ever won (Kirk’s bio said he snagged the U.S. Navy’s Intelligence Officer of the Year award for his service during NATO’s conflict with Serbia in the late 1990s. Not true, or even close to being true).

I believe Mark Kirk, and all political candidates, should be disqualified from a race for this sort of transgression.

Not because it’s unethical—though it is.

Not because it’s wrong—though it is.

Kirk should be disqualified because he absolutely, positively must be a complete and total moron. Dude, there’s this thing called the information superhighway. You know, the internet. Google. Yahoo. So on. You can look stuff up. In, like, three seconds. What sort of dolt, especially in 2010, makes up shit that never happened—and thinks he’ll get away with it? If you’re this much of a tool, no way I want you representing me.

Damn.

vara ray has responded to my e-mail (see here for the origin). She even attached a photo. And—I can’t believe it!—she’s an attractive young female in a bathing suit! Oh, my!

With each passing letter I’m falling more and more for her. Here’s what she writes:

My Dearest.
How are you today? I am very happy for your respond to the mail I sent to you.My Name is Miss Vara Ray from Darfur Region of Sudan l am 23 years and presently I am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the death of my family by the rebels

My father were killed by rebels in our residence house in the capital city Darfur. My late father Dr. Ray Benson, was the Chairman, Gruv-Melton Oil and Gas Company a private extracting oil firm in Darfur before He was killed one early morning by the rebels as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country Sudan.

It was only me and my Mum that could make our way out of  the country .
We managed to make our way to a near by country Senegal where we live for six months and after i lost my mum due to heart attack and the hardships here in this camp here in Oakam North, 12 km from the capital city of Dakar Senegal, please don’t be discouraged for hearing this.

However i am using the computer at the office of the reverend father who is in charge of the refugee camp to write to you. I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes, your hobbies and what you are doing presently, remember that you caught my attention in that site that was why I wrote to you in first place

Attached here is my picture for you,in my next mail i will also send you more of my pictures. I will also like you to send me your pictures,I hope you wouldn’t mind, Awaiting for your reply soonest.
from my heart.
Miss Vara

•••

I, of course, will respond immediately with the following:

Dear Vara, my love:

I can’t believe you have chosen me. We are now forever linked. I am so sorry about your family, and your present living conditions. But at least they let you use the office computer. That seems very nice of them. Since you ask: I am a 72-year-old Burger King employee with one arm and a dog named Frederick. We reside in a little cottage on the ocean near Kansas City, Kansas, and spend our nights together, licking vegetables and watching re-runs of “Welcome Back Kotter.” (It’s funny, vara. Most people seem to find the program dated. Frederick and I love it!!). My hobbies include ballet, cock fighting, fishing for guinea pigs and running barefoot through an ocean of donuts. When I was a boy, a rabbi named Crazy Eddie spoke to me from his television. He told me the devil lived in my Uncle’s urn. I have ever since been single, and searching for love.

But enough about me, vara. What about you? And how do you get those roses to appear below your e-mail?

Love, George

First, let this be said: When a Democrat comes along and makes the sort of gaffes Sarah Palin is now famous for, I will roast him/her with equal disdain. I promise.

That said, this woman is amazing. The below video is the open mic following Palin’s speech last week at California State University-Stanislaus. The transcript can be found here.

Palin isn’t merely dumb. She’s ill-prepared. This, as reported by Yahoo! News after the speech:

Following in others’ grand tradition of demonstrating gaps in knowledge while addressing a university, Sarah PalinReagan, personal hero and inspiration, was a California college graduate. She told the cheering crowd: “This is Reagan country, and perhaps it was destiny that the man who went to California’s Eureka College would become so woven within and interlinked to the Golden State.” told a crowd at a fundraiser at California State University in Stanislaus last weekend that Ronald

There’s just one problem here: Reagan went to Eureka College in Illinois from 1928 to 1932, the Alaska Dispatch reports. He didn’t move to California until five years after his graduation. There’s no Eureka College in California (though there’s a town of Eureka that has a College of the Redwoods nearby).

•••

You know what’s sad? As time moves forward, I’m increasingly open to a Tea Party-esque movement. By this, I mean a third party uncorrupted by money and power. But this particular Tea Party identifies itself as a joke every time it evokes/boosts Sarah Palin. She is a moron, a fool, a dolt—unworthy of holding any sort of political position.

Uhg.

In my recent SI.com column on Tiki Barber, I made reference to Lionel from The Jeffersons appearing on the upcoming (fictional) season of The Surreal Life. This resulted in a shocking number of critical letters, insisting that I was exercising tasteless journalism, in that Mike Evans (the actor who played Lionel) has been dead for four years.

Indeed, as this obituary shows, they are correct.

Sort of.

Mike Evans was, indeed, Lionel, George and Louise Jefferson’s only son and the eventual husband of Jenny Willis, the woman who lived upstairs.* However, there were actually two Lionels. Mike Evans filled the role from 1975-78, then left for three years before returning in 1981 (when the show was sort of on its last legs). In his place, the studio hired Damon Evans, no relation, an opera singer who only dabbled in acting. Here’s his profile.

This wasn’t all that uncommon back in the 1970s and 80s, when actors came and went and, for some reason, producers simply thought the viewers wouldn’t care. I, for one, was very confused when Richie Cunningham’s older brother, Chuck, suddenly went from blond to brown hair, gained about 30 pounds and had different eye colors. And when, on the Dukes of Hazard, Bo and Luke left town and their cousins came in. The list is probably endless.

Point is, Lionel Jefferson is alive and well.

Sort of.

* Best Jeffersons episode ever: Jenny, whose father is white and mother is black, has a baby. George is pacing through the hospital, asking the nurse multiple times, “So the baby can’t be white, right? He can’t be white? Definitely can’t be white?” The nurse assures him it’s very unlikely. Commercial break—we return to find the nurse bringing a white baby toward Mr. Jefferson. “Oh, he’s white! OK, he’s white!” George says. “No,” replies the nurse. “This one’s not yours.” Says George, “Oh, thank Jesus!”

I have a friend who is pretty far-right conservative. In most of his political Facebook postings, he derisively refers to Barack Obama as “The Chosen One.” He inevitably bashes all things Obama—calls him inept, a fraud, a criminal. On and on and on. My friend isn’t unique. There are tons of people just like him floating around our country, professing this hatred for Obama and anything remotely liberal in cause. They thrash the liberal media (conveniently ignoring talk radio and Fox’s far-reaching tentacles), demonize Nancy Pelosi (a decent human, it seems).  Hell, I found an especially interesting T-shirt shop earlier today that makes the above designs.

Here’s what I’m waiting for: Acceptance of blame. With rare exception, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever hear any of these conservatives admit voting for George W. Bush was a mistake; that the country was truly set back by his presidency; that he put us in an enormous hole; that he either lied or relied of faulty intelligence to stick us in Iraq; that he ignored personal liberties. I hear none of this, EVER, and it infuriates me. Because while the GOP loves bashing Obama with, “Enough blaming the past administration,” well, it’s reasonable, and fair game.

Has Obama been a great president? I’d say no—just solid, and clearly flawed. But what about walking into a situation that could best be described as liquid shit. That’s what Obama was handed. And, for some odd reason, we’re supposed to forget and/or ignore that.

Infuriating.

… the sad plight of Tiki Barber.

If you haven’t heard, D-Wade, LeBron and Chris Bosh are all going to Miami.

Maybe.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Well …

This was reported by Stephen A. Smith, the maybe, kinda, sorta journalist who reports on the NBA for the Philadelphia Inquirer. For many fans, Stephen A. is a treasure, because he tells it like it is. Which is to say, he tells it off the top of his head. Which is to say, take 1/4 cup of reporting, 2 teaspoons of digging and 5 quarts of opinion, stir and serve warm.

I only met Smith once, so there’s no personal beef. But when I heard what he had to say on Dan Patrick’s radio show, I wanted to vomit. When you’re a “media personality” who needs to hear his name, what better way to approach things than, well, like this: “I got a call last night from a source, and I double-checked it with another, and they told me essentially that LeBron James and Chris Bosh are going to tag team and go together to join Dwayne Wade in Miami. Obviously, there are numerous reports out there. Whoever is wrong can have egg on their face. As far as I’m concerned, I already have. Because I thought in my heart of hearts that eventually, he would go to the New York Knicks. But around 10 o’clock last night or so, I heard the news. I stayed up for a few more hours and made a few phone calls, and I felt comfortable enough to go with what I reported.”

So, Stephen A., it’s really happening!? Really!? REALLY!?

“I believe it’s highly likely. I would never say anything is a done deal with LeBron James until it’s signed. Because a year and a half ago, when I reported that he was definitively going to New York, I was told that from a very reliable source. Anybody who has watched me cover the NBA over the years, you can figure out who that person is. But I was told that he was going to New York City and that he wanted to be a New York Knick.”