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Bristol Palin and my barf-coated hand

May 7th, 2009 by Jeff Pearlman

vomiting

Have been hearing much from Bristol Palin of late about the joys of being a parent.

In fact, thought much about her words this afternoon. The daughter, Casey, son, Emmett, and I were at the nearby children’s library for 6 o’clock story time and chocolate cookies. Midway through the first book, Casey stood up, looked at me and said, simply, “I have to burp.” Then—bllllllleeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh! She began to vomit. I instinctively reached out my left hand, cupped it around her mouth and rushed her to the bathroom, roughly 10 feet away. Upon entering. Casey vomited and vomited and vomited, missing the toilet but hitting both of my flip-flops and much of the floor. I spent 10 minutes cleaning her up. Then, for the following 20 minutes, I scrubbed down this nasty, public bathroom with a roll of paper towels and a few wipes.

Bristol couldn’t be found.*


* For the record, I feel sorry for Bristol. Who is clearly being pimped out.

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3 Responses

  1. Kim

    Been there, done that. Only it was in the middle of the Jersey Gardens Mall food court. Definitely not one of life’s brighter moments.

  2. Drew

    Dude – at least you had the consideration to clean up after yourself. Not even joking: we had a mom baptize her son a couple months ago, and she wasn’t feeling well. Afterwards in the changing room, she pukes everywhere… and LEAVES IT FOR ME TO CLEAN UP!

    At that point, I know Jesus loved both of them, but me? I wasn’t so sure…

  3. Brant

    I also like the she’s being paraded around telling teens that abstinence is the best birth control.

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