F$%^ the police?

By “F$%^,” I mean “feed.” I’m sitting in a Cosi, writing away, as the local cops stop by for their free food.

That’s right—free.

For some reason, police officers across America seem to consider it their right to receive free food from restaurants within their turf. I see it all the time—they come in, order food, then never pay.

Quite frankly, it’s bullshit. Why are cops more entitled to free grub than, say, teachers or accountants or balding, anxiety-stuffed, lazy-ass book authors who spend their days sipping from the same cup of hot chocolate while fantasizing over one day running hand-in-hand on a beach with Conrad Bain while rubbing coconut oil on hi—uh, never mind. That’s another topic. More to the point, the whole cop-food thing is an enormous conflict of interest. Is the free food just free food? Or is it an unspoken payoff for protection? Will there be eateries that are punished for not providing nourishment to our public servants?

I’ve got no real beef with cops in general. Sure, as a product of the tough streets of Mahopac, N.Y.—where a Jewish brotha without his Glock was a dead Jewish brotha—I certainly popped a few caps back in the day. And sure, I ran with the toughest gang the ‘Pac ever saw—Cub Scouts Troop 371. But, uh, what was I even saying?

5 thoughts on “F$%^ the police?”

  1. I grew up in a tough Los Angeles neighborhood, and I know the local eateries giving free food for cops mostly want the added police presence. You would think being a “high crime area” would signal the need for more police presence. But obviously, nothing sounds the alert, like a free doughnut can.

  2. I also am bothered when I see police getting preferential treatment, like free food from restaurants.

    Yes, its their job to protect the public. I do acknowledge they deserve thanks for their contribution to keeping their precinct safe and crime free, but most police think they deserve freebies from local eateries and some can even be intimidating about it.

    Thats alright, I’ll go service his wife while he’s cramminmg free doughnuts and coffee in his fat, lazy ass. 😉

  3. I have five friends that are all Officers, NONE of them receive free food or free anything else, but they do receive discounts, 10-20 percent while on duty at some locations. I dont have a problem with that, as most of the same places offer the same discount for Firefighters and EMS workers.

  4. My mother is a retired Chicago police officer and the sense of entitlement is accurate, yo. Every job comes with perks, she’d say. Some people get discounted airfare. Others receive discounts at the mall. My Mom got free coffee.

  5. I have several NYC Police Officers in my family.
    I have no issue with urban cops getting things “on the arm” considering they are paid basically zilch and actually do put there life on the line in a big city… Now the Suffolk County Po-Po getting paid 90k-100k per year and still scarfing down free donuts and coffee while writing my speeding ticket as they pull me over on the L.I.E…. that I take issue with.

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