5 Things that Puzzle Me

Well, I’m sort of drawing a blank tonight, so I’ve decided to write a simple blog about five things that truly puzzle me:

1. What the hell are the members of Fall Out Boy saying in the song, “Sugar We’re Goin’ Down.” I mean, I’ve read the transcripts at a lyrics website, but it just doesn’t seem right. There must be something more to it all, no?

2. This zit has been blooming on my nose for four days. Is there a proper way to get rid of the dang thing without causing permanent scarring?

3. What was John Edwards thinking? I mean, really, what in the world was he thinking? You’re running for president, a huge part of your appeal/message is your wife’s courage in fighting a horrible disease—and you fool around with some video lady? Don’t you stop for a moment and think, ‘Hmm, perhaps winning the presidency is a tad more important than a hummer from Bambi in room 432 of the Vegas Holiday Inn?’ Why not just hire an expensive DC call-girl? Hit up a strip club? Go Larry Craig in Raleigh’s airport? Just don’t have sex with the video lady.

4. Why are Jets fans soooooo over-the-moon thrilled about Brett Favre? Yeah, he’s a legendary Hall of Famer with an arm about 1,000,000 times more powerful than Chad Pennington’s. But, uh, he’s ancient, and well, you’re the J-E-T-S. Think Boomer. Think O’Donnell. Hell, think Kenny O’Brien. Point: This won’t end well. No way.

5. Why is NBC coming out with a remake of Knight Rider? Seriously. There are, oh, 1,000 excellent old shows to chose from. Why not Chips? Or Silver Spoons? Or Highway to Heaven? Knight Rider? Seriously …

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