Over the course of the past week I’ve received several invitations to join fantasy football leagues.
I’d rather be:
B. Eaten alive by maggots.
C. Forced to watch a never-ending loop of the Benson episode when Benson DuBois is shocked to learn that his own girlfriend is now confined to a wheelchair.
I just hate fantasy sports. Not the leagues themselves, but the seriousness with which they are approached. I’ve had friends ask me to sit in on their baseball drafts; friends ask me to review their rosters; friends request inside information that I might have attained from covering the sports.
To me, the worst thing is how fantasy leagues completely take the fun out of rooting for a singular team. One should never be, say, a die-hard Cowboys fan and find himself rooting for Santana Moss to have a big game for the Redskins. It goes against everything we’ve been taught as idiot fansâ€”loyalty, loyalty, loyalty (even if the teams, as shown by the PSL craze, aren’t so loyal back).
Plus, it’s pretty damn geeky. And the last thing I need is to enhance my geek credentials. Especially when I’ve already admitted to being a Hall & Oates fan.