Today is my sister-in-law’s birthday. At work, they surprised her with, uh, eh, ahem, a big purple monster. I don’t quite know what to make of this. I’ve had 36 birthday celebrations, and neverâ€”not onceâ€”did anyone send a big purple monster. In fact, I never even had a horse. Popeye. A dog. Nothing.
F-ing purple monsters.