In promoting “Boys Will Be Boys” this past week, I’ve learned some valuable linguistic lessons.
Lesson 1: Don’t say “Jerk off” on the radio.
Lesson 2: Don’t say “Penis” on the radio.
The “jerk off” lesson came first. I was on Philly’s WIP radio with a host named Ike Reese (he used to be an Eagle) and he asked me about the antics of Charles Haley, the crazy defensive end. I said, “Well, he used to jerk off in the locker room, and …”
Total, humiliating silence.
The interview eventually continued, but things were never the same. Ike wrapped it up quickly, and when I was preparing to do Philly TV the next day, a producer said, “One favor, no ‘jerk off.'”
I said, “How about ‘Spanking the monkey?’ or “Whacking off?'” She laughed.
This morning I was on WFAN here in New York, in studio with Boomer and Craig, when I told the story of Haley walking through the locker room with athletic tape wrapped around his schlong. When I said, “Penis,” the mood totally changed. “Not the best radio word,” I was told later.
Henceâ€”and I’ll make this a book giveawayâ€”I’d love some good euphemisms that are radio friendly. In fact, not only will I offer a book, but I will select the most radio friendly one, and use them on my next viable interview and even try and drop the name of the person who supplies it …
Game on. (And read this for inspiration)