Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Please help Jeff Pearlman avoid humiliating himself

OK, so I’ve got two upcoming events that, quite frankly, have me scared shitless.

First, on Tuesday, Sept. 23 at 7 pm, I’ll be doing a discussion/signing at the Borders on 10720 Preston Road in Dallas. (214-363-1977). Then, the following day (9.24) I’ll be doing a 4 pm appearance at the Barnes and Noble at SMU (214-768-2435).

Up until now, every signing I’ve ever done has taken place within, oh, 40 miles of my home. In other words, I could always con a relative or two into attending. Now, however, I’m solo. Have no close friends in Dallas, and am quite certain Emmitt won’t be showing up for either gig. I’d like to believe that the magnitude of my 500,000-watt celebrity will draw in the masses. But, despite my wife’s constant (and well-intentioned) pump-up sessions, I can readily acknowledge that, on the 1-to-10 celebrity scale, I’m right there at -20, alongside the kid who played Oliver on the Brady Bunch, former Delaware quarterback Dale Fry and my cousin, whose name is Daniel and who is a very nice young man.

So, please, please, please, come and listen to my boring drivel. I’m not interesting, my signature is valueless and I’m a poor dresser. But, afterward, drinks are on me …