Today on my Facebook page I posted an update on Brian Hickey’s recovery. He seems to be doing better, though in little spurts that come, then go, then come again. From afar, it’s very frustrating—I can only imagine how Angela, his wife, is handling things.
Anyhow, when I mentioned the positive upswing, someone wrote this:
Jeff that is AMAZING news!! The power of prayer my friend. Its way beyond our control!!!! You guys are in my prayers and thoughts every day!!! Its all uphill from here!! xoxoxoxo
I’m not here to criticize my friend’s sentiment, which is honest, decent and caring. But while spending half my time now obsessing over Hickey’s ups and downs, I’ve thought a lot about prayer—and I just don’t think I believe in it.
Now, let me elaborate. I do believe in positivity. I do believe in good outlooks. I certainly, 100-percent believe in the power of Angela, sitting by Brian’s bedside, whispering loving thoughts into his ear. I believe in touch and texture and feel; even in energy and its humanistic power.
But, as much as I’d like to, I have great trouble believing that tonight, if someone gets on their knees and asks God for a person’s health—BAM!—health will arrive.
I suppose this is the inevitable doubt and conflict that often comes with a tragic event, but why do I need to pray to God for him to help my friend? Why, if there is a God, would he put Brian Hickey in that position? I know dozens of assholes (myself included) who are more worthy of this fate than poor Brian. So why, why, why, why?
And don’t tell me God works in mysterious ways. Don’t. I’m tired of hearing this as the standard explanation when bad things happen to good people like Hickey. Don’t tell me that. Maybe God isn’t at work here. Maybe there is no God. Maybe Hickey got hit by a car because of terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible misfortune, human-caused and human-invented.
Do I believe Hickey will recover? I truly do. But not because of prayer. I believe he will because of something 8 million times more powerful: The guy is a fighter.
