Confession

Dear loyal readers:

In 1995, a year after graduating from the University of Delaware, I smoked pot twice. The first was via a joint, and I felt nothing. The second was via a bong, and immediately after the smoke entered my body I started to believe I had a large helmet covering my head, a la The Great Gazoo. I know many of you believe me to be a role model, and I have let you down. From this point on, I will stop watching the Flintstones.

Sincerely,

Jeff Pearlman

***

For the record, this whole Michael Phelps thing is insane. Beyond insane. I know … I know—lucky Michael Phelps. All those gold medals. All those endorsements. All that money. But, really, look at the guy. What kind of life has Michael Phelps lived? In pool, out of pool. In pool, out of pool. In pool, out of pool. In pool, out of pool. In pool, out of pool. As other people his age spring breaked in Cancun and guzzled beers and chased women, he was swimming laps. And more laps. And more laps.

Hence, why is anyone surprised that Phelps took a bong hit? Hell, for his sake I hope he took more than one …

6 thoughts on “Confession”

  1. Does this put an end to “Smoking pot will RUIN your life!!” anti-drug PSAs? Phelps and Obama, I’d say they’ve both done pretty well for themselves.

  2. Jeff,

    Hilarious stuff here! I’ve been an avid follower of yours since you came to my house last year at Ithaca. Since then, I’ve started my pro career but I always heed your advice of persistence and passion. Keep it coming, you’re the man.

  3. You paint Phelps as completely innocent up to this point, putting in hours of work and not partying at all.

    How quickly we forget his DUI, plus the many stories that came out of Michigan from his time there. (Stories that haven’t been picked up by the media, as they’d hurt his image more than hitting a bong.)

  4. I say he takes the recent events and runs with it. With bong-gate and his DUI, i think he should drop the all-american hero status and re-market him self as the bad boy of swimming.

  5. http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/story.html?id=c54a7ddd-2280-44fa-aa05-a1e807fa9302

    I googled about his DUI. this was a good article. As a former pot head, i can tell you I missed out on a lot of “reality” back in the day. He should know better than to smoke a bong around people he does not know. He has too much at stake. What is perfection supposed to be? One one hand, I say stupid kid, smoking pot is not smart, he should be punished. On the other hand, I am glad this happened, proving to the world-NOBODY is perfect!

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