Corey Patterson is a highly skilled player. Right? Right? Right? Right!

patterson

As I mentioned earlier, this afternoon I found myself in Ft. Lauderdale for the Orioles-Nationals game. About 1 1/2 hours before the first pitch, the reporters on hand gathered around Washington manager Manny Acta, who partook in the ritual (and predictably mindless) pre-game press briefing. After a couple of useful questions were asked, a radio reporter stuck his mic before the manager and said, “Do you like what you’ve seen out of Corey Patterson so far?”

A refreshingly candid man, Acta replied, “Well, we’ve only played a few games, so I don’t really know yet.”

Undeterred, the reporter kept at it. “He gives you a different look, don’t you think?”

“Well,” said Acta. “I don’t know.”

Still undeterred, the reporter still kept at it. “Well, wouldn’t you say, you know, with his size, and he’s lefthanded, and the way he swings the bat, he’s different than your other outfielders?”

Acta shrugged his shoulders (reporters often use “shrugged” even when nothing was actually shrugged. This time, however, he literally shrugged his shoulders) and muttered something like, “I guess.”

This represents one of my great media pet peeves—surely something I’ve done in the past, but not in a loooooong time: The I-have-an-angle-I-plan-on-reporting-whether-it’s-valid-or-not approach. This guy thinks Patterson is a “different” type of outfielder, so he wanted Acta to agree. When Acta didn’t agree, the reporter didn’t particularly care.

Now, as a public service, I’ll fill Acta’s shoes:

Q: “Do you like what you’ve seen out of Corey Patterson so far?”

Pearlman (Acta): “Well, I think I’ve seen enough through the years. He’s just not very good.”

Q: “He gives you a different look, don’t you think?”

Pearlman (Acta): “Not really. We’re overloaded with crap outfielders.”

Q: “Well, wouldn’t you say, you know, with his size, and he’s lefthanded, and the way he swings the bat, he’s different than your other outfielders?”

Pearlman (Acta): “Dude, look at Corey Patterson’s lifetime numbers. He’s a .254 career hitter. He can’t touch the curve, he has no plate discipline and he’s never made adjustments. He’s about to turn 30. What more do I need to see?”

Thank you.

3 thoughts on “Corey Patterson is a highly skilled player. Right? Right? Right? Right!”

  1. Andrew Z. Stebbins

    There’s no doubt Patterson was a Bowden signing, now Manny is “stuck” with him. I hear the Long Island Ducks are looking for a left handed hitting centerfielder.

  2. I say this as a die-hard Orioles fan, but what a crappy assignment.

    (I’d be interested in reading your O’s story, though.)

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