So I decided I’d start Twittering today. Then I started Twittering. And that was that.

Literally, I have nothing to Tweet about. Nothing.

Picked my nose. Felt nice. Breathing better.

Have never had ham or bacon in my life. Feel good about that.

Was just thinking about Sugar Ray Leonard. He was fast.

My sandwich isn’t very good. It came with onions. I don’t like onions. Maybe I should take it back. Should I? Maybe. I don’t know.

Short people are funny. But my wife is short, and not all that funny. But I love her anyway.

My shoelace is untied. Right shoe. White lace. Draggin’. Damn.

Why are these shorts itching? Did I not wash them? Hmmm

See? I’m boring as all hell. I could go all Skip Bayless, and pretend I’m angry about things I didn’t even know existed three minutes earlier (Seriously, this clip sums up Skip—who can’t even name five rappers, yet can comment at length on Eminem). But where’s the value in that? I only crave attention when my books come out—and I don’t have any upcoming releases. So, well, yeah. No Twittering for me. Hell, I don’t even text. Really, I don’t.

5 thoughts on “Twitter”

  1. One of my best friends, a PR major about to graduate BU, has become an expert twitterer (tweeter?). He has taught my friends and I ‘proper’ twitter technique, which basically prohibits random status updates. Instead of “I have so much homework!” and other posts no one gives a crap about, we post cool links that we think everyone else in our group of friends would enjoy. I think that’s when twitter can be a really cool tool.

  2. You can link to things. You can import a feed of your blog. You can do a lot of different and fun things with Twitter.

    Feel free to hit my at the email in this comment. I can help you.

  3. jeff,

    not sure how to say this without being rude…you’re an attention whore.

    with no followerrs on twitter, i can understand how you don’t like it.

    let us know if you like it when you have 1,000+ people following you.


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