So I’m here in Ocean City, N.J., having an amazing time on vacation with my wife and kids and friends. Tonight, a bunch of us went to play miniature golf. I loathe miniature golf. Perhaps it stems from my childhood, when I accidentally slammed my mother in the face with a backswing (she’s OK). But, truth be told, I think it stems from the fact that miniature golf is:
A. Terribly overrated.
C. Not especially fun.
D. Not hard.
Me: Miniature golf is boring.
Greg: How can miniature golf be boring? In real golf you’re hitting a ball into wide open space, hitting it into a hole in the middle of a wide open green. In miniature golf, you have to deal with spinning windmills, moving clown faces and hippo anus. And that final hole you can get a free game or a free pizza.
Me: Have you ever gotten that?
Greg: No. Waitâ€”I did get a free game one time, but I was pretty disappointed by it.
Greg: Because I didn’t want to play again.
I win. Miniature golf sucks.