John Ensign, I am lost …


John Ensign, I am lost.

Really, I am.

Where will I be without your moral guidance to lead me through the dark days of summer? With your strong commitment to morality, I knew I would never stray. All those hot MILFs at Sesame Place? None for me, thanks to your guidance. All those gay people I wanted to befriend? No way—not under John Ensign’s watch. Oh, how often I desired to sin over these past few years, only to be led properly by your wisdom. My marriage would mirror your marriage. My morality would mirror your morality. Remember those words you spoke? The ones tattooed across my chest? “Mr. President, I rise today to speak on a topic that is very important. That is the preservation of the most important structure in our society.”

You were the shepherd, and I was your sheep.

Baaaa …

Then you had sex with a campaign worker.

And now I am lost.

3 thoughts on “John Ensign, I am lost …”

  1. Were Ensign’s remarks about Clinton made regarding Clinton getting a blowy from good ol’ Monica, or because Clinton lied under oath? Just wondering, because he is a hypocrite if the comments were about the former, but not if they were about the latter.

    Similarly, was Ensign critical of Larry Craig because he was gay or because he was seeking sex (regardless of whether it was gay sex) in a public bathroom? Again, big difference.

    Don’t get me wrong, Ensign is a major twit, but I prefer to know the context of the quotes prior to jumping to conclusions.

  2. Robert: You’re right, those Ensign quotes were about Clinton’s lying and Craig’s arrest, not about their sexual situations. So, he’s not being hypocritical there.

    But when he rose to defend the marriage amendment to the Constitution that would ban gays from marrying? When he said marriage is the cornerstone of society and that our country is built on it? Well, not only was he wrong (nearly half of all marriages end in divorce) but he was pretty damn self-righteous. No getting around that.

  3. Next issue of Hypocrisy in Action Comics-Gov. Mark Sanford, the Gaucho Adulterer of South Carolina! By the way, Sanford today apologized to all the moral people in the country. Guess the immoral and amoral are sol.

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