The greatest episode of a TV show ever …

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Just watched what must go down as the worst episode of a TV show—ever.

Fantasy Island: Season 2, Episode 10.

In this episode, two men come to Fantasy Island. The first is a Navy sailor looking for the Island of Lost Women. He finds it. All the chicks are smokin’ hot, and the sailor assumes he’s gonna get laid—a lot. Then he learns that, after getting laid (a lot), the women will kill him. So he leaves, but not without a member of the Los Angeles Lakers cheer team.

The second man is looking for Big Foot (played by Peter Graves). He find him, using a yellow glider and some sort of machine from the 1930s that tracks body heat. He fires several rounds at the monster, then trips, falls and dangles from high above. Big Foot saves him, grunts and teaches us all about humanity.

Then the little guy says, “dee plane!” a few more times, and the show ends.

By the way, I just asked my wife, “I wonder what Ricardo Montalban is doing these days?” Then I looked him up—he’s dead. Died earlier this year. He was 88, so it’s not tragic. But it’s sad. I always enjoyed him.

8 thoughts on “The greatest episode of a TV show ever …”

  1. I am a year older than you Jeff and i FONDLY remember those prepubescent Saturday nights spent watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island. At age 10, I did not realize what dreck these shows were. Now as a middle-aged man, I appreciate just how awful they were. They were so epically bad that they are actually a form of art. I call this the “Roadhouse Effect.”

  2. Ricardo used to do ads for my current place of employment. So up until about a year and a half to two years ago when someone would call and be put on hold his voice could be heard telling you all the wonderful things about where I work. Sadly he has since been replaced by a screeching parrot. I hate that fucking parrot.

  3. Sorry, Jeff… but you’re not old enough to have seen the worst show ever. “Captain Nice” ran for about one month sometime in the late 1960’s. A miserable attempt to cash in on the “Batman” craze. The mere fact competing networks were trying to cash in on that horror show is amazing in itself. We evidently had no taste at all. Anyway, if you missed “Captain Nice” you missed the worst 30 minutes ever. Nothing else even comes close, trust me.

  4. Actually, I have to correct myself. My memory is playing tricks on me. “Captain Nice” was not all that horrible. It was “Mr. Terrific” that was the ultimate stink bomb. They ran at the same time and I got the two confused.

  5. Jeff,
    I don’t always agree with your stances on politics or religion but I do read you. Your work is entertaining and thought provoking. I respect your right to write — whatever. But how did you not know Ricardo died? That’s just wrong. I don’t know if I can read your stuff the same way again.

    F.I.

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