JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Something that REALLY bothers me

I started my journalistic career in Nashville in the mid-1990s. While there, I was witness to the unfortunate rise of Shania Twain, the moderately talented “country” crooner (I place country in quotes on purpose; Twain was about as country as a Manhattan hot dog stand) whose looks and sass carried her to massive fame and fortune.

Personally speaking, I have nothing bad to say about Twain, whose rise for poverty and tragedy is pretty damn impressive. That said, she is responsible for what must be considered the absolute worst song of all time: Man! I Feel Like a Woman.

Under closer examination, this song rots life from Earth’s core because:

A. The title uses an exclamation point (!) and the horrific, dumb man-woman pun.

B. The singing is blah and unemotional; the rhymes uniquely obvious.

C. Most important, this song is centered around the most horrific line ever uttered by anyone—anywhere—any time. It comes 1:01 in to the above video, and goes, “The best thing about being a wo-man, is the prerogative to have a little fun.”

What the hell does that mean? Do women have a prerogative for fun that men lack? And what sort of fun does she mean? Child birth? Workplace discrimination? Construction workers whistling as you walk by? Periods? Menopause? Pushing around one of those twin strollers while your husband is off dingling the babysitter (in Twain’s case, a sad truth).

Anyhow, that’s my rant.

If anyone has a worse song, please feel free to contribute …

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