So my SI.com column for today concerned the lovebirds Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian, who married after knowing one another for an entire month (In their defense, it wasn’t February).
In the way I occasionally Google “Tupac” and “autopsy photo,” I am riveted by celebrity marriages. No matter how beautiful the couple, the scene is almost always gnarled and nasty. In this case, Odom and the Big K decided that love trumps allâ€”including common sense, logistics, detailed knowledge of the other person, etc. I’m willing to bet Lamar doesn’t know Khloe’s political affiliation, favorite food, favorite animal, etc. Come to think of it, I’m not sure Lamar knows that he married Khloe. There’s a 20 percent chance he thinks she was a wedding-day stand in for Kourtney, her pregnant-yet-significantly-better-looking older sister.
When it comes to celebrity marriages, my favorite thing is to pay attention to the various folks involved in their lives. For example, Bruce Jenner, Khloe’s step father, had no idea the two were getting married. Then, bam, six days later he’s walking her down the aisle. Her mom, meanwhile, gave a glowing toast, babbling about love and fate and, uh, yeah. Kim, the sister-who-is-most-famous-for-having-large-breasts-even-though-we’re-not-supposed-to-say-that, Twittered that, “â€œTonight was one of the best nights of my life! Khloe & Lamarâ€™s wedding was a night to remember! I love u both so much!”
Yet of all the crazies, the biggest loser of the night had to be Babyface, the once-cool R&B singer whose cred is now kaput. With the 300 guests watching (surely in disbelief, no?), Babyface stood up and sang “You Are So Beautiful.” He did so with a straight face.
Which, really, is beautiful in and of itself.