Jacket required

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This Monday I’ll be going to an event where a suit jacket is required.

I hate suit jackets, and I hate that they’re occasionally required. To me, it’s proof how strange humans truly are. Somewhere, light years away, there are beings on planet Zootor, watching us and wondering, “Famine, injustice, war, AIDS, cancer—why are they so concerned over wearing jackets?”

Back in 2002, when I married my then-girlfriend/now-wife, Catherine, we debated whether to make our wedding black tie. We were holding the event at a pretty swank place on a Saturday evening, and Catherine and her family felt that called for required tuxedos and formal dresses. I, on the other hand, refused to hold the wedding under that condition. To me, it was honor enough that people were taking time from their lives to attend your wedding—and giving a present to boot. How could I possibly ask them to have to rent a tux, too?

As a compromise (to Catherine’s great credit), we put nothing on the invite, but if people asked, we said it was optional. Come wedding day, roughly 75 percent of the attendees wore tuxedos and gowns. But it was their choice.

I just think we’re all a bunch of idiots. Who decided suits were better dress than, say, a toga? Or a T-shirt? When did it come to be that, in formal environs, men must dangle and piece of tied fabric from their necks? Why can’t we all just chill and be comfortable?

Dammit.

PS: On the bright side, my 3-year-old son Emmett now does a spot-on impersonation of Mr. T’s greatest line from Rocky III.

1 thought on “Jacket required”

  1. Let me offer a counter and defend the suit jacket for the people in professions such as yours, and mine (teacher), or any other where a jacket is not required and, therefore, said careerist may tend toward slovenliness at time.

    You can put a suit jacket over almost ANYTHING and people will compliment you for looking nice. It’s a great cheat code. Try it.

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