This is it. Really, this is it. No, seriously—it is. This is it. For real.


Tickets are available now for This is It, the Michael Jackson movie hitting theaters on Oct. 27.

Just in case you haven’t heard, the film will only be out for two weeks. So. Get. Your. Tickets. Now. Or. Else. It. Will. Vanish. And. You. Will. Die.

Really, you will.

Am I the only person here who thinks we, human beings, are idiots? We fall for this s*** all the time. Big events come, we all clamor for seats/tickets/access, then the damn thing inevitably falls far short of expectations. Super Bowls, concerts, political rallies. Several years ago, I was with a group of people taking our kids trick or treating. One couple was walking their young son through his first suburban Halloween, when the dad bolted after a mere 45 minutes. “I’ve gotta go,” he said. “I’ve got tickets to the Nets-Bucks game—Gary Payton’s in town!” I’m sure, at the time, G.P. at the Meadowlands seemed otherworldly. But now, a decade later, does he even remember the score? Hell, does he even remember he was at the game?

Same with this inane Jackson movie. The creators and promoters are clearly trying to hype it as a can’t-miss event, but ask yourself this: Were Michael Jackson alive, would you be clamoring to see him in concert?

Eh, no.