Delilah and really stupid people

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Of all my guilty pleasures—Project Runway, Wilson Phillips, Steel Magnolias—my guiltiest may well be Delilah, the soft-spoken radio host whose program is milk to my soul. Whenever I stumble upon Delilah (usually during late-night drives to nowhere), I stop station hopping and listen. There’s something uniquely tranquil about the woman, and the songs she plays—generally cheesy love ballads—are often spot-on.

Plus, she has really pathetic listeners.

Those who call in to Delilah can almost exclusively be categorized as Midwestern women who love Celine Dion, Jesus, the magic of love and the idea of love at first sight. They request the same category of singers (Celine, Streisand, Whitney, etc), and always ramble on about “my husband has a big heart” this and “but he ran away with the Burger King cashier” that—which always raps with, “but now we’ve been together for three months, but it’ll last forever.”

Cue: Titanic theme

Tonight, while returning from the gym, I heard one of the best Delilah calls ever. The woman, an American, met a Nigerian man two years ago. They immediately fell in love and married (“I loved everything about him!”), then she quickly got pregnant. Yet during the early part of those nine months they started fighting, struggled with cultural differences and eventually agreed to divorce. Then, she found out her baby had no heart (I’m not mocking this part—it’s truly tragic). While grieving, the couple reunited, and one month after their lifeless baby was born, their divorce was officially canceled.

Anyhow, the woman tells this horrible story, then says, “So, I’m calling just to show all your listeners out there that God is with us, and he listens.”

I nearly crashed into a tree.

I’m OK with believing God is out there. But usually that sentiment is fostered by, eh, good news. To recap this woman’s life: She met a man (from a different country, to boot) and was dumb enough to marry him after a month. They fought constantly, then she got pregnant and the baby died, and now they’re together. Hence, God is great.

Uh …

PS: A baby calf was born on Delilah’s farm. You can read about it here. Hence, the pictures.

2 thoughts on “Delilah and really stupid people”

  1. One of Delilah’s amazing abilities to that she will often cue a song that says almost exactly what the caller just said.

    But this woman’s story renders about 90 percent of the Delilah playlist inappropriate.

    Certainly that Titanic song is out.

  2. Lol ya I’ve got the same sentiment. The program tends to play some good older music but god “heh” do those people need a shrink.

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