Though this is a tad embarrassing to admit, one of my favorite songs right now is Miley Cyrus’ Party In The USA. Great beat, great vocals, fun to run to.
Yet while listening to it today, I was thinking of the great irony. In the song, Cyrus sings about flying with a bunch of friends to Los Angeles, where she parties and has a gay ol’ time. The video follows suit—Miley dancing away with friends, waving to guys, etc. Fun, fun, fun, party, party, party.
Sadly, in real life there’s no way Miley Cyrus could enjoy herself in such a way. A. The scumbag papparazi would surely follow her limo from the airport to the hotel to the clubs. B. Every person with a camera/video phone would be following her around like dogs after gravy. I actually witnessed a similar phenomenon last month at the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame induction weekend, when a bunch of idiot fans literally trailed Jordan with their phones up in the air.
The No. 1 reason, however, that Miley Cyrus can’t live the song is that, as a teenage celebrity, she almost certainly has no life. She doesn’t attend high school, so the friends she’s paling with in the video certainly don’t exist. Her life, literally, is this: Tonight—Memphis. Tomorrow—Nashville. Wednesday—St. Louis. Thursday—Chicago. Friday—Milwaukee. In between there’ll be meetings with this handler and that handler; lunch with a rep of this potential TV show … that cinematic guy … so on and so on. I’ve seen celebrity up close, and it is waaaaaaaaaaaaay overrated.
I’m sure there are million of girls wishing they were Miley Cyrus.
And I’m equally sure that, at times, Miley Cyrus wishes she were anyone else.
PS: Can you imagine having to put up with s*** like this?
PPS: I’ve been to many parties in L.A. Factually speaking, if a woman walked in wearing cowboy boots absolutely nobody would care. They probably wouldn’t even notice.
