Political Junk Mail


Some people love late October for the leaves changing color. Others love Halloween.

I love the political junk mail.

No, actually, I don’t. I hate it. Not because it’s a complete and total waste of resources (which it is) or because it causes the good mail folks an extra-large dose of annoyance. No, I hate it because it’s stupid, and anyone who decides to vote for a particular candidate based on a 12″x5″ piece of cardboard really shouldn’t be filling out a ballot to begin with.

Today, I received a mailing from Tim Idoni, who is running to be re-elected Westchester County Clerk. I know Tim. Hell, I like Tim. He’s a good guy, and will get my vote. However, his big quote, printed in large black letters, is, MY FIRST PRIORITY IS TO PROTECT THE RESIDENTS I SERVE. Which, while a fine sentiment, is pretty obvious. What else could his first priority as county clerk be? Scoring Knicks tickets?

Then there’s the dandy from Janet DiFiore, Westchester’s district attorney, also running for re-election. I don’t know Janet, but I can tell from her mailing that she’s very important, because her postcard is even larger than Tim Idoni’s. She also has A RECORD OF EXCELLENCE! (ALL CAPS!), including WORKS AGGRESSIVELY TO COMBAT GANGS AND KEEP GUNS OFF OUR STREET. I’m guessing she’s pretty damn good, because gang activity in Westchester is down to zero percent. From, ahem, zero percent.

My favorite all all the mailings wasn’t sent by any candidate, but by the New York Republican State Committee. I only know this because, literally, it says “New York Republican State Committee” is, oh, 2-point light gray text in the bottom left corner of the left side. On the front, the card says MEET THE TAXING TEAM and NO WONDER WE PAY THE HIGHEST TAXES IN AMERICA. Then it pictures Andy Spano, who is running for Westchester County Executive.

This is sort of funny. I live in a town with beautiful streets, amazing schools, incredible diversity, remarkable services, etc … etc. Maybe we pay high taxes because, ahem, they actually go to something …

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