Just returned from the Panera bathroom. While I was in there, a man was standing at the urinal, grunting through a very long piss. Urrrrrrgggggggggh!! Quiet. Urrrrrrgggggggggh!! Quiet. Urrrrrrgggggggggh!! Quiet.
I’ve heard many different sounds from the urinal. Light mists. Strong tinkles. My second most memorable pee-related experience came about 10 years ago, when I urinated alongside Vin Scully in the bathroom closest to the Dodger Stadium press box. To hear the voice of baseball go, “Ahhhhhh …”â€”pretty priceless.
The winner, however, came in 2001, when I traveled to Seattle to profile Ichiro. I was interviewing Lou Piniella, the Mariners’ manager at the time, as he simultaneously ate a hoagie, smoked a cigarette, spoke to me and pissed. I was pretty young during Piniella’s playing career, so it was nice to see his agility hadn’t faded.
Just a few days ago I was at the urinal in a Chicago restaurant, and the man next to me was using his Blackberry and peeing at the same time.
Uncannyâ€”but no Sweet Lou.