Adam Lambert and helmet-covered vaginas


I hadn’t paid any attention to last night’s American Music Awards until reading the following Facebook update from a friend:

[I am] not a prude at all, not bothered by much but WTH was Adam Lambert thinking last night. You stick a guys head in that area, not for nothing you were on American Idol you have a family following at this point, pathetic. My boys taped it to watch this morning, they love him, guess what they are not seeing it, very disappointing!!

So, now curious about a singer I care little about, I found seemingly the only site that has his performance up. And I watched. And at first I was bored. And then I was a little more bored. And then I watched him forcefully shove someone’s face into his groin. And then I was a little more bored. And even more bored.adamlambert5

This, dear readers, is the problem with deliberate shock—it’s not shocking, but dull and unoriginal. Adam Lambert did exactly what anyone who followed his American Idol run would probably expect: He tried to exploit and dazzle and make people say, “Wow! Adam Lambert! Wow!”

And it sorta worked—for the short term. But when people are done saying “Wow!” they’ll likely join me in yawning. And not listening. Because crotch tricks grow tiresome. Making out with another guy is way old news. And, worst of all, the song he performed, “For Your Entertainment,” is bad. Brutally bad. Heard it on the radio the other day with the wife. We both agreed, “This sucks.” Hearing it done live only accentuates that point.

Truth be told, while watching Lambert’s sad showing I thought of the original artistic concept for the book on tape of “Boys Will Be Boys,” my Dallas Cowboys biography. It was e-mailed to me, and I wasn’t offended or amazed—just dumbfounded. How stupid—shock for the sake of shocking.

I immediately rejected it—both to save the book, and to save any ounce of decency I might have.

Lambert might consider thinking along those lines, too.

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