JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Mitt Romney: Man for the (dumb) people

art.romney0716,gi

Mitt Romney is at it again, slamming Barack Obama for the economic meltdown caused by his predecessor, and doing so with marvelous hair.

I loathe Sarah Palin, I detest George W. Bush, I never was much for John McCain. But Mitt Romney might actually be America’s worst politician, in that he ran for governor of Massachusetts as an unambiguous moderate, served his term—then ran for president and turned into an arch-, arch-, arch-conservative. In other words, say what you want about the so-called leading Republican candidates of yesterday and tomorrow, but most of them are—to cite Dennis Green—who we think they are. Palin is crazy, Bush was lazy, McCain was old. But what in the world is Romney?

Answer: The worst type of politician—a professional candidate. For three years, all he has to down is sit back and fire bullets. He can slam Obama for absolutely, positively everything, and worry not about a reply. He will repeatedly lay out his plan for economic recovery which (gasp!) calls for more tax cuts! There’s no danger in speaking out; no risk. As a non-office holder, Romney doesn’t require any federal assistance or aid. He can tout his mediocre record’s high points, slam the president’s low points, slather up that hair and be merry.

Oy.