Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Does this make me a jerk?


Feel like crap this morning. Here’s why …

A few days ago I took my kids to the mall to buy a present for their mom’s birthday. My tykes are only 6 and 3, so they tend to lack mallular attention spans of any depth. We spotted Santa, and my daughter said, “I wanna say hi to Santa! I wanna say hi to Santa!”

We stopped to say hi to Santa, and while she waited I was approached by a man from New York Life insurance. He was wearing a suit … situated at a nearby table. Having endured way too many hours of working crappy mall jobs, I agreed to talk to him. He started babbling on and on, and I knew I wasn’t going to buy any insurance. I told him I had to go, so he said, “Well, why don’t you fill out a card and we can talk on the phone?”

I froze. I hate rejecting people in that position—standing alone in the mall, bored, nobody coming around. But, on the other hand, I don’t need any more friggin’ insurance. So … I filled out the card with my name and address.

But, ahem, with a fake phone number.

Well, this morning at 10:30 I receive a call from the guy—Bill, I think. He clearly looked up my number, etc … etc. I stumbled, stumbled some more, than told him I’m not interested.

I feel like such a jerk.