Did You Hear About the Morgans?

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It is rare that one sees a movie so bad … so terrible … so ridiculously flawed that he actually enjoys the film for those very reasons.

Enter: Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Put simply, it was an honor and a privilege to sit through what will likely go down as a historic cinematic achievement—the worst movie ever made, combined with the worst acting ever, combined with the worst casting.

To begin with, the movie. Did You Hear About the Morgans? is the story of two New Yorkers, Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant, who get divorced after he cheats on her with a woman in Los Angeles. That she lives in California is completely irrelevant, as is the fact that he cheated at all. The two go out to dinner to hash out their differences, witness a murder and are shipped off to Wyoming in a witness-protection program.

Wackiness ensues!

Hugh Grant cracks one-liners that, accompanied by a British accent and his tilted grin, are downright hilarious!

Sarah Jessica Parker makes comments about loving New York, and missing New York, and needing New York.

There’s even a small role for Wilford Brimley, doing his best work since the Liberty Medical commercials.

You’ll be shocked to know that, after their early resistance to Wyoming, Hugh and Sarah come to realize that their love is real. They are moved by the simple lifestyles of others. They attend a rodeo and (get this!) a bull rams Sarah in the ass. Hugh shoots himself with bear repellent and makes funny faces. The town doctor is the town’s only doctor, so he makes jokes about that sort of craziness. Funny, funny, funny!

I would write more but, thanks to Did You Hear About the Morgans?, I’m having trouble thinking. Is it write or right or rite? Did someone steal my pen caps? I want to eat pork. Lots and lots of pork. But maybe I don’t. Mommy! Mommy! Can someone tell me where Ken Oberkfell lives? I have his cat. Mud! Mud! Plud! Thud!

PS: Kyle Smith of the New York Post wrote, “The cast is in such fine form that everything seems funny.” Kyle—you’re fired.

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