Lambert, Allen, Idol

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At some point last year, I wrote on this blog that Adam Lambert, the darling of American Idol, would go on to a career doing Off-, Off-, Off-Boardway, while Kris Allen would likely have a pretty good run.

Though it’s obviously too early to declare victory, the early returns are in—and Lambert’s initial professional run has been, well, horrible. He kicked off his solo career by releasing a single, For Your Entertainment, which may well be the worst singular tune in the history of recorded music. Then, to make things even worse, he performs the tune on the American Music Awards in a tasteless, vile, vulgar display that screamed LOOK! I’M SHOCKING! REALLY! REALLY! REALLY SHOCKING! OH, AND I’M GAY! REALLY! REALLY! GAY!

I can’t understate how bad this song is; how bad his performance was.

Allen, on the other hand, is on a mini-roll This week the video to his new single, Live Like We’re Dying, topped the VH1 coundown. And while the song is slightly more original than a Mike Lupica tantrum (the theme and title have been used before, most recently by Tim McGraw), it’s an OK-sounding little jingle that’ll have the girlie girls screaming.

See, while Allen possesses 1/100,000,000th of Lambert’s talent, he’s significantly more sensible. People like understatement. They gravitate toward it. Plus, we’re no longer a people shocked by everything. Adam Lambert has a cock shoved in his face? Big deal—see it a million times.

Just sing a nice song.

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