The Great Squat Debate

Photo on 2010-02-24 at 16.07

I’m sitting here in the Corner Bakery Cafe in Chicago. They have bathrooms in the basement, but you need tokens. Well, you need tokens for the men’s room. For some reason, the womens room is wide open. Anyhow, I really had to pee, but I didn’t have a token, and was too lazy to go back up and ask Erik the Barista for one.

I poked my head in the women’s room … saw that one person was using a stall. I tiptoed into the adjacent stall, but didn’t want her to look over and see a pair of size-13 Nikes facing the toilet (obvious guy giveaway). So I squatted. First time ever. I literally squatted to pee. And man, was it friggin’ haaaaaarrrrd. Knees knocking, calves aching. I’m not sure how women do this all the time, but if some dude from Sweden can win a gold medal for doing three flips on his skis, maybe there can be a new event—longest squat without touching porcelain.

Question of the day: Was I wrong to use the women’s room?

13 thoughts on “The Great Squat Debate”

  1. No – They were wrong for enacting a class system to rule their bathrooms. Why should women get to urinate as much as their hearts desire, but us men need to pay a toll to pee?

  2. The only thing that surprises me about this is your suggestion that it was your “first time ever.” This is an incredible claim.

  3. I’d say you were wrong to use the women’s room. Maybe, if it was a one-person bathroom with a lock, you’d be okay.

    Also, I squat when I pee (unless, the toilet is really dirty). I think it’s easier.

  4. Have you ever been to India or Singapore? They have toilets called “squatters” which are literally just a hole in the floor. And women use them too. Next time, you should take a leak in the woman’s bathroom sink, for shock value.

  5. while i think it is ok to use the women’s room on occasion in instances like this, i think it was sort of wrong that you went while a woman was still in there. empty bathroom? fine. but in this situation, you have created the possibility of making this woman feel extremely uncomfortable if she sees a 6 foot tall bald head above the stalls going to sit next to her. thats sort of a jerk move. bathrooms should be a sanctuary.

  6. If you have to ask for a token and you didn’t? Yes, you’re too lazy.

    If they don’t give you 3 or 4 when you walk in because they know you’re going to be there all day working on a book? That might be a hint.

  7. Not sure I get it. You were in an actual toilet stall, that came complete with a toiled with a seat and everything? Why squat? Why not just assume the #2 position, i.e., sit on the seat, and pee?

    As for using the women’s room, I don’t have a particular problem with it, but you should have waited till it was unoccupied. Unisex bathrooms are fine, but if the woman entered expecting it to be women-only, she has a right to have that expectation met.

  8. If it’s not a one-seater, I won’t use it. Also, do you think it was better that she saw your size 13 men’s sneakers facing the other direction? They’re still obviously men’s shoes.

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