I’m sitting here in the Corner Bakery Cafe in Chicago. They have bathrooms in the basement, but you need tokens. Well, you need tokens for the men’s room. For some reason, the womens room is wide open. Anyhow, I really had to pee, but I didn’t have a token, and was too lazy to go back up and ask Erik the Barista for one.
I poked my head in the women’s room … saw that one person was using a stall. I tiptoed into the adjacent stall, but didn’t want her to look over and see a pair of size-13 Nikes facing the toilet (obvious guy giveaway). So I squatted. First time ever. I literally squatted to pee. And man, was it friggin’ haaaaaarrrrd. Knees knocking, calves aching. I’m not sure how women do this all the time, but if some dude from Sweden can win a gold medal for doing three flips on his skis, maybe there can be a new event—longest squat without touching porcelain.
Question of the day: Was I wrong to use the women’s room?
