JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Politician of the Day

barbdaviswhite

I have a new favorite politician. Her name is Barb Davis White, and she’s a Republican running for Minnesota’s 5th Congressional District. In a recent appearance, White—an African-American woman—uttered a truly remarkable statement: “Rosa Parks did not move to the front of the bus to support sodomy.”

Granted, White may well be a keen student of history—indeed, Parks did not show much interest in America’s blossoming WE LOVE SODOMY movement. However, White chose to elaborate, which probably wasn’t a very good idea. “There is no difference between a black person and a white person other than their skin color when there’s a tremendous difference between a man and a woman,” she said. “Allowing a black woman and a white man to marry does not change the definition of marriage. However, allowing two men or two women to marry would fundamentally change that definition.”

I have a theory, and I think it’s pretty solid: African-American Republicans are friggin’ nutjobs.

African-American Democrats? Fine. African-American moderates? Fine. African-Americans who choose not to vote? Hey, whatever. But whenever I see a Republican candidate who happens to be black (or, for that matter, a member of any minority group), I simply chalk it up to some sort of mental disorder. A mild disorder, generally. But a disorder nonetheless. I mean, it makes no sense, like seeing a Republican social worker or liberal Democrat Fortune 500 CEO. Generally speaking, the Republican Party is to civil rights what Madonna is to traditional Victorian-era attire. They feed upon the poor, the hungry, the tired, the underrepresented.

So while White’s words are, in print, shocking, they’re actually sort of mild, considering they come from a woman who has visited Pluto with her Uncle Meg and the cast of Happy Days and probably escaped the insane asylum a few weeks ago …