Took my kids to see “The Tooth Fairy” today.
In a wordâ€”Ugh.
Here’s how I see it. I ran my first 10K as an 8-year old. I’ve been running for yearsâ€”high school, college, Empire State Games, marathons. I will never, however, be an Olympian. I don’t have the talent, the drive or the time. Just a pure, 100-percent impossibilityâ€”dreams be damned.
Along these lines, The Rock will never be a good actor. Never. He is wooden like a telephone pole; overly expressive in his emotions and paint-by-number is his reactions. The Rock is shockedâ€”mouth wide open, hands to cheeks. The Rock is angryâ€”eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed. The Rock is sadâ€”chin down, nose crinkled. At best, he’s a sitcom-level thespian: Todd Bridges, Justine Bateman in skill. Nothing more.
But he’s likable. And big. For some reason, that’s enough for Disney to hire him to lead a cast. But the guy is dreadful, and this movie was dreadful, times 100,001. Predictable, dull, unimaginative, illogical. I looked over at my kidsâ€”the target audienceâ€”and they were fidgeting in their seats, desperate for the damned thing to end.
I have no idea.