JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

The flood

cup_plunger

Am sitting in the Sunburst Coffee Shop in NYC. A few moments ago, a nightmare came to life.

I used the toilet. I flushed. The water started rushing up. And up. And up. Faster and faster and faster. I reached for the black plunger, and plunged away. But it was too late. Water pouring over the bowl and onto the floor. Whooooosh! I finally got it to stop, but not until a little lake had formed.

Here’s the question: The bathroom here is nasty. No, n-a-s-t-y. If you’re me, do you:

A. Quickly pack up your stuff and leave?

B. Admit to an employee that the toilet overflowed, thereby asking them to clean up your watery mess?

C. Grab as many paper towels as humanly possible and clean it yourself?

I chose C. And now I’m grossed out. To state it again, the bathroom is grosser than gross. Hairs, dirt, grime, shit particles. Grotesque.

I’m sickened.

Discover more from JEFF PEARLMAN

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading