My ex


I know several people who don’t “allow” their spouses to associate with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

A. I don’t “allow” or “disallow” my wife to do anything.

B. It’s stupid.

Tonight my family went over to the apartment of my college girlfriend. We dated for more than two years, and when I ponder that time period in my life, I think largely of her. Now, 15 years later, she’s married, with a son and another child on the way. She’s one of my favorite people in the world—perhaps partially because of a shared history, but mainly because I really, really like her and really, really like her husband. My wife is an equally big fan—which warms my heart. We all get together several times per year, good food … fun times … etc.

Babbling. Point is, shutting out an ex merely because he/she is an ex is ludicrous. Hard feelings need to be put aside; anger needs to be released; shit happens, especially with youth. And for a spouse to say, “I don’t want you having anything to do with so-and-so” is unfathomable. Marriage is trust. What greater trust than feeling comfortable about an ex-love interest?

Plus, my ex’s husband is an insanely good cook.