My ex


I know several people who don’t “allow” their spouses to associate with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

A. I don’t “allow” or “disallow” my wife to do anything.

B. It’s stupid.

Tonight my family went over to the apartment of my college girlfriend. We dated for more than two years, and when I ponder that time period in my life, I think largely of her. Now, 15 years later, she’s married, with a son and another child on the way. She’s one of my favorite people in the world—perhaps partially because of a shared history, but mainly because I really, really like her and really, really like her husband. My wife is an equally big fan—which warms my heart. We all get together several times per year, good food … fun times … etc.

Babbling. Point is, shutting out an ex merely because he/she is an ex is ludicrous. Hard feelings need to be put aside; anger needs to be released; shit happens, especially with youth. And for a spouse to say, “I don’t want you having anything to do with so-and-so” is unfathomable. Marriage is trust. What greater trust than feeling comfortable about an ex-love interest?

Plus, my ex’s husband is an insanely good cook.

6 thoughts on “My ex”

  1. I have been married and divorced from the same woman twice. Both times her choice.
    The first time we divorced she suggested I have my girlfriend come over to PU the kids.
    I explained I didn’t have a girlfriend. I wondered why it was a problem for me to PU the kids.
    She said that is just the way it always is.
    I suggested that that if two people loved each other enough to marry they should at least be able to be friends.

    The second time there was no problem at all. The kids moved back and forth at will with no set times and everyone gets along fine.
    We have had dinners at each others houses, and are friends.
    I find her husband is similar to me in many ways and I actually smile when I see that same confused look on his face I had on mine so many times.

  2. Love the story Jeff, you hit the nail on the head!. I just have one bone to pick with you; why did you use my ex-girlfriends photo in your piece???……8-)

  3. well said, I feel better letting go of jealousy. its childish. I let her go see a band with an ex. turns out they were havin sex afer the concert. but thats life right.

  4. Speaking as someone dealing with my significant other’s infidelity and its ongoing destruction of our family, let me just say this…sometimes those types boundries can and should exist for a very good reason.

  5. I agree with anonymous, I have happily married for 15 years. We have boundaries, thats what works for us. To each their own. Whatever works and gets you to the next level.

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