JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Holy cow!

I don’t know who Les Phillip is, but I feel sorry for him. Some people are just born dumb.

** Wait! I take that back. I now know who Les Phillip is. I did some research. Here’s his website. He’s running for Congress in Alabama. Which explains the advertisement. You know, I’m 100% supportive of the military. I truly am. But just because one was a Navy pilot, as Les was, doesn’t make him a leader. In fact—and I hate to open this can of worms—it might imply more of the opposite. As far as I can tell, the general mojo of the military is “Follow, don’t think.” So if Peters has devoted most of his life to taking orders, well, it makes some sense.

These are actually the two best sentences from his bio: His past professional experience includes Arrow Electronics in Huntsville, AL, where he successfully increased sales and implemented cost-saving processes for the company. At Vulcan Materials in Birmingham, Les implemented process improvements and strategic solutions for the company, resulting in more efficient operations.

Why are they the best? Because they’re so inane. To surmize: Les has two business gigs, and he completed the tasks. Now vote for him!

Les-Phillip-Close-upBut wait! I change that. My favorite part of the site is the always-important Q&A section. Here it is. Or maybe it’s this—under the EVENTS section, Les has two things planned. 1. Election day; 2. the Election day victory party at Phil Sandoval’s Restaurant. (Ironically, a Mexican joint for a strongly anti-immigration candidate)

As my old high school history teacher, Mr. George Maloney, used to say, “I mourn for the future.”