Cell phones+bragging parents=knife to my head

I am a father of two children. I love them very much, and am insanely proud.

I am the owner of a cell phone. I use it quote often, and enjoy the wonders of communication.

That said, I would like to stick a knife inside my temple, and twist it round and round.

Am sitting here in my local Starbucks, helplessly subjected to the loud, speaker-phone-induced ramblings of the woman in the above video. She is sitting in the middle of an otherwise quiet, peaceful coffee shop, screaming, “HE SAID IPOD TODAY! ISN’T THAT FUNNY? HE SAID IPOD TODAY!” I’m sure she’s a nice woman, and a kid saying iPod is, I suppose, cute. But who the hell uses speaker phone in the middle of a public place? Damn.

Truth is, we now live in a culture plagued by bragging parents (Trust me—nobody wants to hear how cute your kid is. Really, nobody. I swear. Really). and cell phone addicts (Put it down. Seriously. Just for a minute. Maybe while you eat) who care little for manners or decency.

It might sound like I’m kidding. Well, I’m not. I’m frustrated, especially by the cell phone thing. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of having people (friends, family members, associates, etc), casually glance away from a conversation to check their fucking iPhones. I’d think maybe it’s just me, but I watch this happen all the time. To everyone. When I was a kid, table manners—and manners in general—mattered.

Now, it’s all gone to crap.

Man, I sound like I’m 88, not 38. Oy.

10 thoughts on “Cell phones+bragging parents=knife to my head”

  1. LOL for real….. some people are just really self-unaware, if that’s a word. It never crosses their mind that their behavior could be annoying to others. Did you think of going up to her and saying: Dude, take your freakin’ phone off speaker, no one cares what word your child has learned to say today? Or something similar in a nicer tone?

  2. You know, I’ve grown tired of rude people.

    In restaurants, is it really that important to light up a smoke while others are eating at the tables around you?

    Fortunately, my state outlawed smoking in public places, but it still happens at outdoor eateries, etc.

    And the cell phones, yeah that’s annoying.

    So what I do now when someone ruins my meal…I walk by their table and “crop dust,” if you know what I mean.

  3. As usual, I don’t get you. You seem to go to these places every day. If the patrons’ behavior and bathroom habits annoy you, stay at home.

    And since we’re on the subject of ‘rude’, violating someone’s privacy by unknowingly posting a video of them on their blog also qualifies, in my book.

  4. I work in retail. The phones drive me CRAZY. I am stuck in this aisle, I don’t want to listen to you *yelling* about your gall bladder operation. And when I’m ringing you up, get off the friggin’ phone.

  5. Nothing annoys me more than the loud cell phone talker or the Blackberry/I-Phone constant “scroller” in public. Even worse is the cashier person on the phone while they are helping you or even the customer talking on the phone while at the register.

    You are not that important..put the cell phone down.

  6. I need to hit that damn Lotto jackpot so I can open my cell phone free movie theater, just so I can have the pleasure of throwing the violators out. I’m not kidding.

  7. When I was younger I remember seeing crazy people walking down the street talking to themselves. I wondered what happened to them, then I realized now they are on their cell phone.
    At the store some guy was shopping and talking at the same time. Had a list. Saw him later. Now off the phone going back down the same isles he had already walked down, bet he thinks he can drive and talk too. Made me smile I didn’t care to hear about his dog having a tick.
    I’m a West Coast guy, is Starbucks the ONLY coffee shop you have around there? Find a new place, there are lots of better coffee shops than Starbucks, at least around here. Besides their coffee tastes burned. My daughter thought all coffee was bad. It made her sick, then she had something other than Starbucks, and she didn’t feel sick.

  8. Jeff, you are hilarious. Loved the comment about the knife to your temple. I wish they removed the speaker phone from all phones, it raises my blood pressure.

  9. I want to go to Nik’s movie theater. I have been to the movies three times in the past month. TWICE people were on their phones. I am guessing those calls were SUPER important.

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