JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Death in 3s

Dennis-Hopper-Cancerimage28820_397545237383_632827383_4005914_3143053_n

There are certain loopy people I know who genuinely believe that deaths happen in 3s. So, with Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper passing within the past 48 hours, they’re on the edge of their seats, waiting for the triangle to be completed.

I, for one, ain’t holding my breath. To begin with, the whole concept is inane; one endorsed by those very same people who look you up and down, then say, “Your aura oozes purple. What sign were you born under?” Second, when it comes to dying, who’s to say what’s celebrity and what’s not celebrity? Dennis Hopper is one of the elite actors of our lives, while Coleman was a faded sitcom star. Are they even in the same boat? The same ocean? Hell, I’d argue that, what Coleman is to Hopper, I am to Coleman. I’m not a celebrity, obviously, or anything resembling a celebrity. But If Hopper is 100 and Coleman is 50, well, I can be a 0. That’s fair. So if I died today (and, following this post, that’d be incredibly spooky, eh?), would that complete the Deaths in 3s?

No.

Speaking of death, I just took a dlightful nap. It’s 6:34 pm, and my wife was nice enough to make the kids dinner. Man, do I love naps.

Even for a 0.