JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

The dreaded palate expander

DSC04003-300x225

My daughter had a platae expander placed on the top of her mouth two days ago.

And I am lost.

The dentist told me how to adjust the thing, but it looked impossible. Tonight I read the directions. Then read them again. And again. “The key that we gave you fits into the appliance. Place it in the small opening and move it from front to back to turn the expansion screw. Turn the key backward as far as it will go so that the key can be put into the appliance for the next turn.”

What?

I have no idea what I’m doing, and fear I’m ruining my daughter’s beautiful (if not slightly crooked) smile. I literally had my fist ramming into her gums, cursing up a storm.

Ugh.

OK, done venting. Thank you.