JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Those F***ing Squirrels

squirrelsfucking1

So we were all hanging out at the house today when my wife called from the front yard. She pointed toward some high branches, where some animals were making loud noises.

“Those two squirrels!” she said. “They’re having sex!”

Uh, no.

Uh, yes. They were. Never seen this before. Two squirels in a tree, one on the back of the other, squeaking loudly and, I’m guessing, pleasurably. My kids came out to watch, as did the neighbors. “Mommy, what are they doing?” my daughter asked.

“Remember on the show Life,” she began, “when the animals …”

Best part: Midway through, another squirrel came along, trying to get a little sumpin, sumpin. He dashed up the tree, and was met by the angry male squirrel, who repeatedly attacked him.

Great show.