Piss

filty-bathroom-floor

Just went to the bathroom here at Starbucks.

Ew.

Why is it that men piss on the floor? The bowl/urinal is right there in front of us. We certainly possess the physical abilities and mental know-how to step up close and urinate directly into the intended target. But we don’t. Ever. Someone dribbled a dollop of piss on the floor, we step back. The next guy adds a little more liquid, she step back and wide. Soon enough we’re standing next to Lake Michigan, just hoping 21.5% of our urine reaches the bowl.

Well, I’m taking a pledge. For now on, I will pee on point. My urine will flow freely into the toilet/urinal, no matter what rests below. I will piss as the greats once did; George Washington and Thomas Jefferson; FDR and JFK. I assure you, such historical figures didn’t damn the system by dribbling on the floor.

Join me, my fellow men! Join me!

PS: True story—if I’m at someone’s house, and I use the bathroom, and I see piss on the floor, or dried onto the bowl, I clean it up. Always. Not for any civic decency—I just don’t want people thinking it was me.

5 thoughts on “Piss”

  1. I’ve always been perplexed by this phenomenon going back to college. I actually knew one of your friends at UD, and he would constantly leave pee on the floor of the bathroom. It would gross me out, but I found myself cleaning it up to keep people from thinking it was me. To this day, I still wonder what went through his head to leave pee on the floor like that.

  2. Thanks for posting that. As you know, I primarily use the internet to be surprised my random pictures of urine. Keep up the great work. And if you could possibly fit a picture of a poo in your next post, it would be greatly appreciated.

  3. Do you guys really care if someone thinks its you pissing on the floor? I find it hard to believe you are wiping up someones piss, when you don’t wipe ANYTHING up at home! My husband could s**t on the floor and would not think twice, it could sit there for days. I am potty training my 2 1/2 year old and now he doesn’t want to sit on the potty he wants to stand like daddy, so he stood today, four times and pissed all over the floor! Yep, pisses just like his daddy! Oh! also for Eric, I have a good post of a poo if your interested.

  4. Debbie, you called my bluff. Thanks anyway. And I am completely in agreement with Jeff on not wanting the next person to think I was the one who peed. It’s not like you can leave a “not mine” note for them with an arrow pointing to the offending spot. Or can you?

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