Here’s a guarantee: If not this year, then in 2011 Tiki Barber will make an NFL comeback.
If you haven’t heard, his TV career seems just about dead. According to the New York Post, Barber’s contract with NBC Sports to work as an NFL sideline reporter was not renewed and then, more recently, he was dumped as a contributor on “The Today Show.”
Why did all this happen? Because of Barber’s penis. Or, more specifically, because—like too many men—he listened to his penis, not his brain. Earlier this year Barber left his pregnant wife of 11 years to get with a 23-year-old former NBC intern (pictured above). I’m not saying the move was completely unjustified, because the intern was blond and hot, and his wife was pregnant and moody and kinda ornery. And, well, what was he supposed to do?
Uh, yeah. I’m kidding. Why is Barber’s TV career dead? Because everything he did, post-football, was based upon image. Barber came off as a great, lovable, cuddly, accesible dude who guys like and women love. But, much like Chris Brown beating up Rhianna, once that image is destroyed, your cred is destroyed, too. Barber can never be what he once was, because, well, you just can’t cheat on your pregnant wife and still connect with most people. You. Just. Can’t.
So, once again, I fully expect Barber back in the NFL. Because while the world of morning television doesn’t embrace dickheads, professional sports always will …
PS: On a side note, cheating never pays. Never, ever. Because, come day’s end, it’s just sex. And if you close your eyes, does sex with the world’s ugliest women actually feel any different than sex with Halle Berry? I haven’t actually experienced either situation, but my guess is No.