I have made my decision

Photo on 2010-07-08 at 10.10 #3

My dear fans, I have asked you to tune in today so you could take part in my historic decision. In case you’re reading this and thinking, “That Jeff Pearlman is one arrogant and selfish SOB,” keep in mind that all the advertising from this blog post will be donated to a charity near and dear to my heart, The Tall, Lanky Jewish Journalists of My House Association. Because, really, Jeff Pearlman is all about the kids.

Anyhow, this has been a long, hard and fascinating month. I’ve had six wonderful blogs make presentations to me on where I should spend the next portion of my life blogging. They’ve bought me dinners, made me exotic (and often erotic) promises, told me that, come day’s end, they’d be willing to hand their blogs over to me, the King of Kings, Jeff Pearlman. And I must agree with their takes—I am the greatest thing ever; the type of blogger who can take a good blog and make it historic. That’s what I do. That’s who I am. That’s what Jeff Pearlman brings to a blog.

Hence, I am here today to say that I have agreed in principle to a six-year deal with Michael Lewis’ blog, Wide World of Stuff.

I’m sure there are readers of who will be disappointed. Devastated, even. Let me assure each and every one of you that I have loved my time at; that I will always cherish the memories and remember each and every one of you like family. It was a nice little blog to start my blogging career, and a piece of my heart will always be at But I am no longer that young boy, blogging about farts and boogers and bloody poops. I have matured. Expanded. What Michael Lewis promised me—and what convinced me his blog was a true home—is the chance to lead his blog to a championship. I can now blog about things like Lindsay Lohan and hookers named Eunice; about dogs that speak French and the mice who have convinced me I’m Jesus.

Some will say it’s about the money. I understand that. Some will say it’s about ego. I am too great to even hear such blather.

It’s about love.

It’s about passion.

It’s about Jeff Pearlman being Jeff Pearlman.