Friggin’ Sears

Photo on 2010-07-22 at 11.21

Brought my mower to Sears FIVE weeks ago for a repair. Still haven’t heard back. Tried calling two times today, only to get an endless ring.

Went online to their E-Service Department. Here’s what happened …

Dear Customer, please wait while we connect you to a Blue Crew member to assist you.
You have been connected to Keith Blackwell.
Keith Blackwell: Thank you for choosing Sears. My name is Keith. How may I assist you?
Jeff: keith, i need your help.
Keith Blackwell: Hello, Jeff.
Keith Blackwell: Let me see what I can do to help you today.
Keith Blackwell: How may I help you?
Jeff: i brought my mower in for a repair at the yonkers sears FIVE weeks ago. they told me it’d be fixed in 2-3 weeks. i’ve never heard back. i call and call and NOBODY (literally, nobody) answers the telephone. I’ve tried all different Sears numbers, and i keep getting blown off, pushed to the next number. All I want to know is if my friggin’ mower is fixed.
Jeff: and i don’t wanna have to drive 40 minutes to the store to check.
Jeff: somebody should be able to tell me. it’s not too much to ask.
Jeff: and i’m pissed. not at you, obviously. but i’m pissed.
Keith Blackwell: I’m really sorry to hear that no have assisted you with this information.
Keith Blackwell: Please accept my sincere apologies for this inconvenience.
Keith Blackwell: Let me check and help you with that information.
Keith Blackwell: May I have your phone number beginning with the area code along with your e-mail address please?
Jeff: honestly, i just want the mower
Jeff: 917-XXX-XXXX
Keith Blackwell: Thank you. Could you please verify your full name and your service address, including city, state and zip code?
Jeff: jeffrey pearlman; 23 XXXX, XXXXX ny 1XXXX
Keith Blackwell: Thank you, Mr. Pearlman.
Keith Blackwell: Will the file be under a different name/
Keith Blackwell: *?
Keith Blackwell: *?
Jeff: no. jeff pearlman. maybe not jeffrey
Keith Blackwell: Okay, will the file be under a alternate phone number?
Jeff: no
Jeff: crap. i don’t even exist, do i?
Jeff: i have the slip in front of me
Keith Blackwell: I certainly understand how frustrating it would be. I’m really sorry, we do not have this information on the file.
Keith Blackwell: I request you to contact the stores where you dropped the mower.
Jeff: i hate sears. i really do.
Jeff: i know it’s not your fault, but you guys have lost my mower, and nobody at the store answers the friggin’ phone.
Jeff: i call and call and call—and n-o-b-o-d-y answers.
Jeff: and now i have to get a babysitter this evening so i can inquire about a mower that might not even be there.
Jeff: ain’t right
Keith Blackwell: I certainly understand your problem, in this case I’ll go ahead and send a message to our Customer Relation Department regarding the issue and they will contact you within 24 hours with a solution.
Keith Blackwell: Do you have an alternate phone number you would like to provide?
Jeff: nope.

Let me just say it: Sears sucks. Sears has always sucked. Well, maybe not always. But certainly dating back to the ’80s, when we had one at the Jefferson Valley Mall. Just a sloppy, cruddy, half-hearted store from a bygone catalogue era.

Man, I’m irked.