Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Sears II: The disappointing conclusion


Just back from Sears. Went this morning, ready for a fight. As I pulled up to the store, I was already thinking about this blog, and the dialogue that would surely be written below:

Evil Sears Employee: “That’s $350.”

Me: “What! Are you kidding me!”

Evil Sears Employee: “Well, you knew going in that …”

Me: “Get me a manager!”

I was ready to yell! To bark! To pout! To scream! To stomp my feet and echo the famous words from my father, who at a Red Lobster 25 years ago bellowed to the manager, “You expect us to eat this crap! And pay for it!”

Ah, to dream.

So here’s what really happened. I walked into the store. I was greeted by a young guy, maybe 20 or 21, who took my receipt. Seven minutes later (roughly) my mower came out, apparently fixed. I had paid a $30 deposit, cash, when I initially dropped it off. I looked at the total bill now—$110. Seemed fair enough. Only they didn’t charge me. “You’re all good,” the kid said. “Have a nice day.”


A. The 20-year-old screwed up and is now looking for a new job.

B. All my complaining—and blogging—paid off.

Either way, I’m now willing to give Sears a second look. Appreciated the way this was concluded.

PS: Two extra thoughts: A. I have no idea who the above kid is, but when I Googled “I love Sears” she came up. B. I love Jay Electronica and this song, Exhibit C. A reader turned me onto it—dazzling.