JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Norma pees

photo-on-2009-11-20-at-1658

I have a dog named Norma. She’s 2 1/2, and very cute. I used to hate her, especially when she’d regularly crap on the rug. Now, for the most part, she’s stopped crapping. So we’re pals.

Yesterday I took Norma out for a stroll. It had been a few hours since she’d last urinated. We walked over to the yard of my 85-year-old neighbor, and Norma peed. The neighbor saw me, and kindly called me out. It was one of those instances when a person spoke in nice tones, but you can tell she’s pissed. I apologized weakly, made up some excuse how we were just crossing her yard to get to the street.

It was (sigh) a lie.

My dog pees on my neighbor’s yard all … the … time. She likes it there, the woman is never home, plus, she’s 85 and never seemed to mind. Norma once crapped on her yard with her watching, and she said it wasn’t a problem. Hence, I assumed regular urination wasn’t a problem, either.

Now I feel like a heel.

And, even worse, I have to find a new place for Norma to piss.