JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Not too dry, not too moist

Well before I was boasting about my virginity on TV, well, well before I was talking ’86 Mets or Bonds or being thrashed by Emmitt Smith, I was a 14-year-old kid in a Ft. Lauderdale shopping mall, taking a bagel taste test for someone named Molly Turner.

I still remember sitting in my grandparents’ living room that night, watching the TV, hoping … praying I’d be on. Then, when I flashed across the screen—pure elation!

Bonus points for the Pirates cap.