I have a 7-year-old daughter and a 3 1/2-year-old son.

When my wife became pregnant for the second time, I was sorta rooting for another girl. Didn’t really care, but I loved how snuggly and gentle Casey was. Also, I’d watch boys running around the park where Casey played and think, “Ew. No thanks.” Beginning at age 4ish, little boys are gross. And dirty. And nasty. And inappropriate. There’s nothing funnier than a fart, a booger, an accidental shit in the pants.

My son Emmett is started to display this side, and well, I’m not so enthused. He’s really into his penis right now—singing songs about it; laughing about it; rhyming to it. He thinks it’s hilarious, and as a parent there’s no much to say. You tell him to stop, it draws attention and makes him do more. You ignore, he thinks it’s appropriate.

Can’t win.

5 thoughts on “Penis”

  1. Um, Jeff, no offense to your sensibilities but I am 46 and am still “really into my penis.” Wouldn’t you be more concerned if he wasn’t?

  2. Jeff
    I had 2 boys and 2 girls.
    What I learned is at about age 12 when the hormones kick in girls get a bit emotional. I was lucky, all I ever got was a spattering of, “whatever”.
    Boys on the other hand are stupid.
    We’re stupid before we are 12, and we stay stupid for a long time.
    With my second son I had the bone doctor on speed dial.
    Why is it boys can watch something on TV and figure they can fly or do back-flips with their Walmart bike?
    Actually proof there is a God is that boys live long enough to become parents.

  3. When he gets home Alexander can show him the tricks he’s learned from the other boys between bathing-suit changes at camp. (Contrast with Aiden who’s uncomfortable changing in front of his peers.)

  4. After reading your post yesterday, I thought to myself, “Hmmmm, my son is 3 1/2 and he hasn’t done anything like that.” Sure enough, I go to put him in the bathtub and he starts singing about his “tallywacker” while waving it around. Lovely.

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