JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Gay

Upon watching this video a few minutes ago (and trust me—it’s worth watching), my immediate reaction was: This guy is gay.

Too often in society, calling someone “gay” is deemed an insult. If you read this blog, however, you know I don’t play that. To me, being gay is the same as being straight. It’s part of who a person is. No more, or less, decent or whole than any other defining personality factor. You’re tall, you’re gay, you like baseball, you have crooked toes, you can’t dance, your left hand is smaller than your right hand, etc … etc. The gay part just fits in there, one of many factors.

Hence, when I say that Andrew Shirvell is gay, I don’t mean it as an insult—just a highly educated guess. The basis is Society: 2010. Look around this country, and an increasingly growing number of our loudest anti-gay biggots have turned out to be—drumroll, please—gay! They either hate themselves or are uncomfortable with themselves or have simply been coerced to believe that they’re wrong and evil and ugly and sinful. So they fight back by calling out those of their own sexuality. Sad.

Cooper handles this interview well, because he seems to realize Shirvell is a nut. It’s pretty obvious early on, when we see the photo of the student council president with a gay pride flag and a swastika. You can be a hater and not be crazy, but you can’t be a hater who superimposes a gay pride flag and a swastika on a dude’s face and not be crazy.

In conclusion:

A. Andrew Shirvell is likely gay.

B. Andrew Shirvell will be out of work within a week.

C. Within, oh, two years, Andrew Shirvell and Eddie L. Long will be walking hand in hand along a beach in Provincetown, selling rainbow-hued T-shirts while sipping Shasta under an umbrella.

And the world will be good.