JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

The biggest scumbag in politics …

… may well be Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. Perry, a Republican if there ever were one, finds himself in a surprisingly tight election against Bill White, the former mayor of Houston.

Why is Perry only up by a handful of points?

Because he sucks.

Seriously, he sucks. He’s a typical scumbag political figure who hands millions to the wealthy while convincing the rural white poor that he’s “one of you” by wearing cowboy boots and driving a truck. Perry has never shown even the slightest interest in pollution control, in education reform, in social programs to help the downtrodden. He’s as pro-gun as pro-gun gets. In other words, he’s Satan.

Today some interesting Perry news came out. According to the Dallas Morning News, more than $16 million in state technology grants were given to (gasp!) companies run by top Perry donors. The money, all from a texpayer-funded Texas Emerging Technology Fund that Perry created in 2005, was steered toward certain company’s Perry’s companies.

My favorite part? Perry’s defense. According to Mark Miner, his spokesperson, the Morning News piece dwelled on less than five percent of $334 million. In other words—yeah, we’re slime, but we don’t rip off everyone.

Do I think Perry will lose? No. Texas is a big state with lots of rural whites who love their politicians to chew tobacco and sport cowboy hats.

That’s Perry.