JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

School Lunch Week

So this is School Lunch Week across America, which is cool and fun and dandy. Go, healthy school lunches! Carrots! Tomatos! Milk!

Uh … yeah.

My daughter is 7. She brings her lunch to elementary school every day. The wife and I try and keep it healthy—usually either a cheese sandwich or rice and beans or pasta or handboiled eggs (she’s a maddeningly fussy eater), alongside a Thermos of cold water, some sort of fruit and a side snack (ranging from a cookie to cheese and crackers to a Granola Bar). Anyhow, this year the daughter is heavily into trading. She excitedly tells us about her swaps, which remind me of the time the White Sox sent Ron Kittle, Joel Skinner and Wayne Tolleson to the Yankees for Ron Hassey, Carlos Martinez and Bill Lindsey (OK, it doesn’t. I just wanted to make a Ron Kittle reference). Casey will say, “I had six Doritos today—and all I had to give up were three pieces of Pirate Booty!” Or, “David brought in Chips Ahoy, and I got two of them! All he wanted was a rice cake.”

I should probably be irked, because we want her to eat wisely. But, really, I’m impressed. She has yet to swap, oh, Albert Pujols for Julio Lugo. Her trades are planned, wise and crafty.

She’ll make an excellent GM.